What happens when you're grieving someone you had already started grieving before they died? In this deeply personal episode of Unpacking the Mess, Donna McClendon sits down with her longtime friend Sheridan Merriweather, a licensed clinical social worker, for an honest conversation about grief, parental addiction, childhood trauma, family boundaries, and healing after the loss of a parent.
Sheridan shares the complicated story of losing her mother in January 2025 after years of struggling with the effects of her mother's drug addiction. Their relationship was filled with love, conflict, instability, broken trust, and ultimately difficult boundaries Sheridan had to establish to protect herself and her children.
The conversation explores what happens when a child grows up too quickly, when the roles between parent and child become reversed, and when loving someone doesn't mean you can continue rescuing them.
Donna and Sheridan also discuss the complicated emotions that can come with grieving a parent who struggled with addiction. Anger, sadness, guilt, love, disappointment, compassion, and relief can exist at the same time.
Most importantly, they explore the realization that addiction often exists alongside unresolved trauma. Understanding someone's pain doesn't excuse the harm they caused, but it can become part of unpacking the complicated emotions left behind.
If you've experienced the loss of a parent, loved someone struggling with addiction, grown up in an unstable home, or struggled with setting boundaries with family, this conversation may feel incredibly familiar.
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