In Episode 3 of Unpacking the Mess, Donna McClendon sits down with her longtime friend Patricia Muellen, entrepreneur, marketing professional, and host of Built This Way, for an honest conversation about infertility, hysterectomy, women's health, boundaries, trauma, self-worth, and learning to embrace a life that looks different from the one you originally planned.
After more than a decade of trying to have children, Patricia eventually underwent a hysterectomy and had to confront the reality that motherhood would not be part of her story in the way she and her husband had imagined.
Patricia opens up about grieving children they had already imagined, navigating the loneliness of infertility, and reaching an important realization: not giving birth does not make someone less of a woman, less lovable, or less whole.
But this conversation goes far beyond infertility.
Donna and Patricia discuss advocating for yourself in women's healthcare, life after hysterectomy, self-care, body image, mental health, people-pleasing, learning to enforce boundaries, and the exhaustion that comes from constantly performing for everyone around you.
They also unpack Patricia's "villain era" — not as a season of becoming cold or selfish, but as a season of protecting her energy, enforcing boundaries, and finally making herself a priority.
Through humor, vulnerability, and the kind of conversation only longtime friends can have, Donna and Patricia explore what it means to close painful chapters without allowing them to define the rest of your story.
Because healing doesn't always mean getting the life you originally wanted.
Sometimes it means realizing you can still build a beautiful life from the one you have.
Find Patrica and her podcast on Instagram